can love grow if someone says they love you but are not in l

If someone has told you they love you then I have no idea why you don't think they do love you unless they are using you or have abusive behavior. You can't make someone love you and no one can make you love them. It's love or nothing!
If this person treats you well, you get along and have fun together then I'd say it's love. If they are seldom around, you don't feel good about yourself when you are around them then they aren't the person you should be with. Love is about honor, loyalty, being each others best friend, feeling free and comfortable to talk to your mate at any given time about your feelings or problems. If you don't get any of these things from this person, then it's time for you to move on in order to free yourself up and meet someone else that will appreciate you.